Don’t read this unless you like boring stuff written by boring people

Posted on March 24, 2012 by Sean

I’ve been sucked into the Fullmetal Alchemist anime series. Basically it’s full of magic that they call science (i.e., “alchemy”) which predictably annoys me, but it’s so cute I can’t resist! Also it is full of war, genocide, torment and despair. So there’s that.

Between my allergies, my stomach pain and my mood disorder(s), I’m taking five different medications at various times of the day. But my allergies are mostly under control, my stomach is mostly pain-free and my moods have mostly improved, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. (I just hate swallowing pills is the thing.)

I’m afraid to watch the movie adaptation of The Hunger Games because I liked each of the books significantly less than the previous one to the point where I just put down the third and final book, and I’m afraid I’ll get sucked back in with the movies and be forced to finally finish the awful, grim, misery-filled third installment.

When I wrote the phrase “it’s full of magic that they call science which predictably annoys me” above, I was thinking of a specific TV series that did the same thing, but I can’t remember what it was called or what it was about. This is really bothering me.

Maybe I’m thinking of Star Trek: Voyager and its hilarious “science-speak” like

“Narrow the confinement beam!”

“I tried that!”

“Well, narrow it some more!”

That would fit.

I had the best martini last night. Just the best fucking martini.

Posted on March 11, 2012 by Sean

If you’ve ever ordered a drink in Utah, you know what a crapshoot it is. In fact, the gimlet I drank first was served the way I expected and feared: nice ‘n’ watery, Utah-style. But this martini was cold, dry and exquisite–absolute heaven.

Until I got through the first half of it and discovered that the vermouth had all settled to the bottom and I gave up on drinking it because vermouth is pretty cloying and gross. Basically I’m in the “The Drier the Better” martini camp, just like I’m in the “Olives, Yes; Salty Olive-Flavored Sweat, No,” the “If It Doesn’t Have Gin in It, It’s Not a Fucking Martini” and the “If You Shake That Martini instead of Stirring It So Help Me God I Will Break Both Your Arms” martini camps. They are sad, lonely camps to live in, sometimes, yet somehow I get by.

Oh my god but that first sip of icy gin tinged with the merest hint of vermouth was the best thing that’s happened to me in a while.

Which is a very long way of saying: if I’m going to live in Utah, I need to learn to make a proper martini.

Meyer Lemon Cream Cheese Tart

“This is my favorite thing you’ve ever brought in.” —coworker and World’s Strongest Librarian Josh Hanagarne

“Delicious.” —my other coworkers

(Continue to recipe)

Decadent Scrambled Eggs with Cream Cheese

I love eggs. I love cream cheese. And I love tarragon! Here is a delicious and incredibly rich recipe that combines them all together.

(Continue to recipe)

Clementine Marmalade

I was craving apple crostata the other day. Unfortunately, my favorite recipe calls for peach jam and—as usual—I didn’t have any on hand, and—also as usual—I was feeling too lazy to go buy some. But I did have a pile of clementines on my counter, so an idea came to me: what would apple crostata taste like with a layer of clementine marmalade in place of the peach jam?

Now I know. It tastes delicious.

Clementine Marmalade

Adapted from Clementine Marmalade at Binny Cooks and Lemon Marmalade by Shuna fish Lydon at eggbeater.

(Continue to recipe)

Aside

The recipes I post would have 30x more photos if I had a camera assistant to take them for me. One who didn’t make any noise, didn’t take up any room and folded easily for storage in my junk closet.

Basically I need an unobtrusive robot butler. I would call him Jeeves.

I made the apple-pear tarts with clementine marmalade yesterday

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Sean

like I was planning, and then they were so good I ate them all. So I’m making them again (but more of them, and better!) on Wednesday.

Also, ten or so years after I received it as a gift (and after who knows how many failed attempts to finish it), I’ve finally gotten more than halfway through Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose. Maybe this time I’ll actually make it all the way to the end! Although if I do, it won’t be without a whole lot of annoyed skimming, huffing and eye-rolling. That man sure loves the look of his own … words? on a page? That didn’t come out right. In any case what I meant was he can go on and on about very little for very many pages, in a mixture of snooty, anitquated Italian and Latin that leaves me looking up every other word in the dictionary, all tied together by 14th-century European ecclesiastical goings-on that I care next to nothing at all about.

Argh.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how the second batch of tarts turns out. Ciao!

“I never look back, darling. It distracts from the Now.”

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Sean

My coworkers seemed to really enjoy the clementine cream tarts I brought in today, but my brain is so busy planning my next endeavor (an apple-pear tart with clementine marmalade) that I almost didn’t hear their compliments.

And of course I had to include the video the quote in the title comes from:

Edna Mode: No Capes!

(I.e., my favorite character in one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies.)

Things I’m Currently Craving

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Sean

Berry tarts with pastry cream. Even though fresh berries are decidedly not in season in Utah. And despite the fact that I’ve made pastry cream exactly once and it turned out a tad too… muscular for my taste.
Noro Silk Garden wool/silk/mohair blend yarn.
Pesto alla Calabrese over rotini al dente.
Miyazaki films.
The soundtracks to the above.
French.
Beards. Other people’s, specifically.
The Nightmare before Christmas.
The soundtrack to the above.
Milk.
Even though I’m lactose intolerant.
Cowboy Bebop.
The soundtrack to the above.
Pizza.