Alone and Unobserved

I have a tradition of watching Fox’s summer reality show So You Think You Can Dance and blogging breathlessly about how hot the contestants are. Unfortunately for you, my avid readers, Twitter has taken over a great deal of that role in my life (which is one reason for the sparse updates here), which means that maybe, just maybe, you aren’t aware of my SYTYCD crush, Summer 2009 Version: Evan Kasprzak.

Here’s Evan and his brother Ryan’s audition video:

Here’s a jazz routine, choreographed by Tasty Oreo:

Here’s a contemporary routine choreographed by Mia Michaels, in which Evan is sadly fixated on his partner’s butt:

And here is the samba Evan danced last night with partner Randi.

SO HOT. Now, his samba’s not great, and in a lot of ways it’s not even good. But… somehow I don’t care.

Anyway. There you go! That’s my current crush.

Oh, and here’s the Mia Michaels routine that blew everyone’s minds on Twitter last night, and which looked like it was really going to suck in rehearsal and then turned out to be very powerful in the actual performance:

Here’s the routine were Jason danced with his shirt off the whole time (rowr):

And here’s the Wade Robson routine that closed out the night last night and made me really glad that Wade Robson is back as a choreographer on the show, and why the hell don’t they have him every week:

And oh my gosh I can’t post all the dance routines. The above videos are via Rickey.org—go watch the rest there, too. TTFN!

If you follow the accommodationist debates at all, you know that one defense both religious and non-religious folk give for the compatibility of religion and science is that each is a different “way of knowing,” or a different way of “reaching truth.” So let’s talk about religion as a “way of knowing,” and about the “truths” that religion nets us.

Imagine you had never encountered a “religion” before, and someone told you that they were a member of an organization that had been founded by a benevolent, all-knowing, all-powerful being, and that this being had imparted teachings to its followers that explained certain things about the natural world and about the human condition. What would you expect to be true about this organization, and about those teachings?

1. You would expect the claims this organization makes about the natural world to be more correct and more descriptive of reality than the theories and claims of mere humans, since the former claims are based on the teachings of an benevolent, all-knowing being, and the latter are based on empirical evidence at best and on guessing, lies or storytelling at worst.
2. You would expect any claims this organization made about the future to come true more often than future claims made by a mere human.
3. You would expect members of this organization to have a better understanding of human relationships, human happiness and human ethics than could be arrived at by a mere human.

Let’s look at how religion stacks up.

First, are the claims religions make about the natural world even minimally true? Not usually. Religion gave us creationism, after all, as well as various bizarre and often harmful theories of disease. If a religion truly were inspired by some all-knowing deity, you would expect its adherents to have known about the true age of the earth before science discovered radiometric dating, and about the germ theory of disease centuries, if not millennia, before science even imagined it.

Second, how good is religion at predicting the future? Uh, not good. All of the “true” prophecies I’m aware of can either be attributed to chance, to revision of history after the fact, or to creative reading of the prophecy.

Third, science has shown that religious people are happier in a certain sense than non-religious people, so this is potentially a point in religion’s favor. However, I remain skeptical about this, because I don’t feel there have been enough studies to control for all the variables—for instance, whether this greater feeling of well-being is due to a placebo effect of sorts (religious people often feel they are expected to be happy, after all) or to the sense of community religion fosters rather than to some ineffable blessing from god that non-religious communities cannot duplicate.

But whether or not religious people are happier themselves, I feel that religion has a terrible track record on pretty much every other aspect of the human condition. Traditional religious marriages are sexist, oppressive, and heteronormative. Religion is currently the most vocal proponent of homophobia, sexism, racism and xenophobia in the world. You’d think that organizations inspired by a benevolent being would be ahead of the love-and-tolerance curve, not behind it.

I grew up in a religion that makes some very strong claims about its own nature and about reality. I was taught that God had pronounced himself on any number of subjects, through living, inspired prophets that were alive and led his church today. God was very interested in what my family looked like, what people I was sexually attracted to and had sex with, whether I got married, whether I had kids. Furthermore, he had opinions on all those subjects, and I was promised that if I followed his advice I would be happy.

Well, guess what. The Heavenly Father I was taught about is apparently a raging homophobe, and doesn’t even believe homosexuals exist. I am gay, so you can imagine how well his advice for worked out for me. He also apparently knows a great deal about health. For instance, drinking tea, ever, is damaging to one’s health. More detrimental, apparently, than drinking cola, because he’s never mentioned that. The religion I grew up in also believes in a literal interpretation of most of the Bible, including the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (a tale that plays an integral role in the secret ceremonies that take place in Mormon temples), Noah and the Flood, the Tower of Babel, and on and on and on.

All of these truth claims are false. All of the special truth claims I’ve investigated in other religions have either turned out to be false, unverifiable, or incoherent. A couple months ago, Jerry Coyne (author of Why Evolution Is True, and one of those “strident New Atheists” accommodationists are always going on about) announced a little contest on his blog, with a signed copy of his book as a prize. Here was the solitary rule:

Using the Oxford English Dictionary definition of truth given below, please name one truth about the world and/or universe that has been arrived at by faith alone, could not be arrived at by secular reason or science, and that is true in that it is in principle verifiable by all people.

OED: Truth: Conformity with fact; agreement with reality

No one won.

I encourage you to read Coyne’s full blog post for a few addenda, and then to read the comments for all the many suggestions people made of truths they thought were revealed uniquely by religion. And then, if you think you can top all of those suggestions, I encourage you to email your contribution to Jerry Coyne. You might not get an autographed copy of Why Evolution Is True out of it, but you might get a reply, explaining why your suggestion is insufficient, and that is EDUCATION. Which is yet another thing science is better at that religion.

If you…

Have to call the library to find Disneyland’s mailing address

Can’t spell “Disneyland”

Can’t spell “Anaheim”

Don’t understand the phrase “mailing address”

Can only follow a number if I read it out ONE DIGIT AT A TIME

then I really don’t think Disneyland is going to be interested in the book you’re submitting to them. Just a guess.

(The library patrons are already outdoing themselves this morning, if you hadn’t guessed.)

UPDATE! (10:02 am)
The same guy called back just now, and the following exchange ensued:

Confused patron: Can I have the address to Nashville?

Me: Nashville?

CP: You know, where all the country stars go.

Me: Nashville is a city in Tennessee. It does not have an address. If you want me to look up a business or location inside of Nashville, those would have addresses.

CP: So… there’s no way to get the information I’m looking for?

Me: I don’t think the information you want exists. Do you want a map of how to get to Nashville?

CP: No, I want the address for Nashville. See, I’m a writer, and I want to send a song I wrote to Nashville.

Maybe he’ll call back again and top himself! And you thought working in a library was boring.

Patron (on phone): “Howya bun?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “Howya bun? That is, uh, howya been?”

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Patron: “Yeah, I was calling to see if you have, uh, an archive of—uh, how’re you doing?”

Me: “You still haven’t told me how I can help you.”

Patron: “You haven’t given me a chance!”

Subtitle: “Take My Wife!”

Via RichardDawkins.net

Storm: A Beat Poem by Tim Minchin

My Very Favoritest Library Patron (on the phone): “I have some items due today. Can I bring them back tomorrow instead?”

Me: “Sure. But you’ll be charged a fine.”

MVFLP: “But I don’t want to pay a fine.”

Me: “…have you tried renewing your items? That’s a good way to stop a fine from accruing.”

Here’s a meme aimed at grown-ups. If you’re a grownup, and you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Cell phone. The fact that my AT&T iPhone plan doesn’t include any text messages irks me every time I look at the bill.

2. Do you miss being a child?
I sometimes miss being five or so, when I was completely unselfconscious.

3. Chore you hate the most?
Laundry.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Uh, I’m not a horribly romantic person, so I’m not sure a dinner that involved me would succeed at being romantic. Oops.

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I don’t know. I am often overcome with regrets about stupid, self-destructive things I’ve done in the past, but since I like where I am right now, I’m not sure what would be guaranteed to make my life better if I went back and changed it.

6. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Miller.

7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Um… I wish I were immersed in a good book. But I’m too antsy to sit down and read.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I’ve wanted to be a writer/novelist ever since I can remember. Instead I have two degrees in math, I work in a library and I’m working towards a master’s in library science. And my writing career is currently derailed. *sigh*

9. How many colleges did you attend?
Four.

10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
I wanted to feel slim today. I don’t know if this shirt makes me look slim, but I sure feel slimmer when I’m wearing it.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
People in the United States who complain about gas prices should be forced to pay European gas prices for a month. Also: I don’t have a car. If I did, maybe I’d be a little more interested in the price at the pump. As it is, I just worry about costs that are passed down to me, like shipping costs showing up as higher grocery prices.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
“Urgh.”

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
“I wish I hadn’t drunk 40 oz of iced coffee so late in the day.”

14. What famous people would you like to have dinner with?
My social anxiety makes such a thing sound like a dreadful torment to be endured, not something to look forward to or enjoy.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Yes. When I was a new license-holder, I tried to turn my family’s Volkswagen Vanagon around at a gas station and clipped the back fender of a very nice and understanding Latino gentleman, who preferred not to involve insurance companies. Good thing, because I was uninsured.

16. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
Yes. Maybe in a library!

17. Get up early or sleep in?
Neither. I hate getting up before the sun, but I have trouble sleeping after the sun comes up unless I’m really, really hung over.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Um… don’t have one.

19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Twitter, read, Facebook, surf the web.

20. When did you first start feeling old?
I don’t usually feel old.

21. Favorite lunch meat?
Don’t have one—I’m vegetarian.

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
New contacts or glasses. Low-cost vision care is the only reason I ever go.

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Not exactly. I think romantic marriage as it is currently constituted is a fairly new-fangled idea that carries the seeds of its own destruction. On the other hand, I think government support for social and economic partnerships is a good thing, so I hope marriage continues to evolve into something a bit more sustainable.

24. A favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
I’m pretty open about what media I like and don’t like.

25. What’s your favorite drink?
Nonalcoholic? Water, coffee, tea. Alcoholic? Gin or bourbon, mixers optional.

26. Whom from high school would you like to run in to?
Didn’t go to high school.

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don’t own a car, and I don’t listen to the radio.

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Neither.

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
I wish I were able to talk about my feelings more.

30. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I don’t have that kind of job. But I like most of my coworkers, and really like and connect with some of them.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No.

32. Last book you finished reading?
According to Goodreads, it was China Miéville’s The City & the City, a week and a half ago. Why haven’t I been able to get into anything since? Hmm. Maybe it’s because school started June 8…

33. Do you have a teddy bear?
No.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Nothing comes to mind.

35. Do you go to church?
Never.

36. How old are you?
28.

37. Have you ever been arrested?
No.

38. Have you ever attended a public protest against a major corporation or a government?
Yes, a few.

39. Do you feel that your type of employment traps you or liberates you?
Public librarianship is very liberating in certain ways, but financially it’s pretty much a dead end.

40. Is voting a duty, a privilege, a right, or an option?
A duty and a right.

41. Have you ever sat on a jury?
Yes, once.

42. Have you ever seen someone die?
No.

43. Are you making any preparations for old age or for retirement?
Other than the plan my employer pays into, no.

44. Do you have children? Or, if not, do you wish to?
No, and maybe.

45. Have you ever served in your country’s armed forces?
No.

46. How is your relationship with your parents different from what it was when you were a child?
Well, since they don’t at all approve of my “lifestyle,” we have trouble carrying on a conversation. And since they are so Mormon they can’t finish a sentence without mentioning their religion, and I really would rather not hear about that kind of thing at all, ever, we don’t end up talking that much.

47. Have you ever had a substantial conversation with a homeless person?
I work in a public library. I have substantial conversations with homeless people all the time. I wish there were more I could do to help.

48. If life is “a journey”, then where are you going?
I reject the premise. I don’t think life is a journey. Life is life.

Patron (on phone): What time do you got, library time?

Me: I’m sorry?

Patron: What time do you got, library time?

Me: I don’t know what you mean, “library time.”

Patron: WHAT TIME IS IT.

Me: It’s 12:01 by my computer.

Patron: Okay, thank you. *click*

Me: Salt Lake City Public Library, this is Sean.

Guy on phone: What kind of business is this?

Me: This is the city library. Can I help you with something?

GOP: Congratulations dude. You get minimum wage to mess around with books.

Me: That doesn’t really—

GOP: (hangs up)

Me: —describe my job…

Facebook “friend”:

Sorry Sean, but I’ve grown tired of all your inane twitter posts and Mormon bashing. So I’ve decided to remove you from my friends list, so that they don’t keep popping up. Hope you understand.

Me:

You realize that a) it’s possible to hide updates from anyone on Facebook without actually defriending them and b) the only reason for sending a message like this is if you were trying to be an ass. So… yay for you.

Inane, Mormon-bashing Twitter post “friend” was probably responding to:

There are so many things wrong with the Mormon church. “Out of touch with reality” doesn’t even begin to describe it. http://bit.ly/2rZe1R
about 2 hours ago from Ping.fm

Current inane Twitter post:

Look, I don’t care if you defriend me on Facebook. Just don’t send me a douchey, passive-aggressive message telling me why.
21 minutes ago from Ping.fm

Note: This is the same “friend” who told me to my face that he would physically assault any gay man who hit on him. If that tells you anything.

Update: The guy in question has since apologized for the original message. So I suppose we have to factor that in as well.