Alone and Unobserved

One of the Christian tenets most often heard in these days of tolerance and intolerance is “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” People usually trot that gem out when someone accuses them of being intolerant because of their hard-nosed stance on some sin or other. The question is, do these people actually follow their own aphorism? They hate the sin, sure, that’s usually obvious; but do they actually, truly love the sinner? In the case of homosexuality, I doubt it.

One of the fundamental qualities of true love and respect is a desire to understand the other side, to truly put on the other person’s shoes and see from their point of view. This is the quality I find most glaringly lacking when the subject of homosexuality and gay rights comes up. Let’s see how this works in practice.

“I don’t hate people who suffer from same-sex attraction,” they say, “but I have to draw the line at accepting the gay lifestyle.”

Okay. Stop right there. First of all, “same-sex attraction” is a term that was invented by straight males who felt that their religious beliefs were so threatened by homosexuals that they tried to define us out of existence. In their world view, people are naturally straight, and anyone who differs from that norm is an aberration, a glitch, or an abomination. Anyone who uses that term is betraying a lack of true understanding of my situation. I do not “suffer from same-sex attraction”; I am homosexual. I cannot change that, even if I wanted to. I have been homosexual as long as I have had sexual feelings, and I had precursor feelings as far back as I can remember. Beyond this, no credible, reputable psychological organization gives any credence to the doctrine of “same-sex attraction” and mutability of sexual orientation. Not one.

Second, what “gay lifestyle” is this? Only people who don’t know many gay people (if any) talk like that. The one thing I’ve learned is that there are as many ways of being gay as there are gay people. Anyone who uses the term “gay lifestyle” is lumping all gays and lesbians into one “Them”–hardly a way of showing love and respect for anyone.

“Gays can already legally marry. They just have to pick someone of the opposite sex, that’s all.”

Right. Let’s imagine for a second that you grew up in a world where you had always known that you could never marry someone you romantically loved, that any marriage you contracted would be built on a lie or be based on convenience or business. Sound like the lot of a fifteenth-century noble? It’s how gay people live TODAY. No one would make such a flippant, wounding response to someone he or she truly loved and respected.

Here’s a winner from our very own Gayle Ruzicka, head of Utah’s Eagle Forum, and an über-conservative pitbull of a political activist. The article this quote was taken from can be found here.

“Come on, people hurt homosexuals because I say homosexuality is immoral?” Ruzicka asks rhetorically. “That’s crazy.”

In fact, both Ruzicka and officials of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints insist they love homosexuals as people, but denounce their sexual practices. . . . [Ruzicka] said she counts gays and lesbians among her friends.

“I’m not judging them personally,” she said. “Our only concern is when they take their immoral sexual practices to the arena of public policy. If they would keep quiet, no one would bother them.”

No, Gayle Ruzicka, you are not to blame for every gay hate crime that happens in the entire United States of America. Thank heaven your influence is not that widespread. On the other hand, the fact that you disclaim any responsibility for vilifying homosexuals and fanning the flames of hatred and bigotry in Utah is disingenuous at best. The fact that you ask gays to sit down and be quiet, so to speak, is just icing on the cake. And you claim not to hate homosexuals? Please. As a personal challenge, Mrs. Ruzicka, I dare you to produce one gay man or lesbian who is really, truly friends with you. You can’t? I thought not.

In conclusion, I’d like to plead for an actual attempt at understanding from the Christian Right. Quit saying you love me and people like me until you truly try to understand us. Until you try, your “love” is empty and your “respect” is a condescending insult.