One Phone Conversation, One Internal Monologue and a Dash of Atheistic Angst
On the phone at work:
Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Some guy: “No, that’s great. Have a nice day.”
Me: “Uh, you too. Bye.”
Me: I just told him to have a nice day. What on Earth does that even mean? “Make good choices, so your day doesn’t suck!”? “I am casting a good-luck spell in your favor!”? Or maybe “I bless you in the name of Osiris and of Apis that your day will go well!”? I might as well pray that “no-harm-or-accident-may-befall-you,” as if I were still Mormon. Well, I’m not telling anyone else to have a good day, ever!
A year later:
Me: It sucks not having any friends. If only everyone didn’t think I was a self-centered jerk. But at least I haven’t abandoned my principles!
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March 12th, 2008 at 9:06 am
“Good day” doesn’t have to be well-wishing. It can be a scathing last word, as in, “Good day to you, sir! Hmph!”
I’ll be your friend. I don’t think I could handle okonomiyaki, but we could get sushi! Yay!
March 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Oh Great, that’s my standard call clincher. Now I’m going to be self-conscious every time I’m in the call center with you. Thanks a lot.
You shouldn’t knock the old “bless us that no harm or accident will befall us as we return to our homes” cliche. It works, I tell you. How often do you hear about fatal accidents as people leave their ward buildings? Next you’re going to tell me there is something wrong with praying for the moisture we’ve received (I think KSL meteorologists should be contractually required to report on inches of moisture).
Enough babbling from me. Have a great day!
March 13th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Rachel, now I know how I’ll end every phone call at work. Thanks for the tip! But are you telling me you are anti-onokomiyaki? Because sushi is awesome, but it is NOT FRIED AS-YOU-LIKE-IT.
Derek, I’m glad I could help with your unhealthily-low self-consciousness levels. Because that’s what all of us need: the feeling that someone is listening in on our reference phone calls, disapproving of everything we say.
“Moisture” always cracked me up. And ever since Lucille Bluth, it has cracked me up even more.
March 14th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Overthink things much? :) Add the words ‘I hope you’ to the front of ‘have a nice day’ and I think you’ve pretty much exhausted all of its meaning. Unless of course it’s said sarcastically.
And that fried goodness is okonomiyaki. Though onoko is an old alternative pronunciation for otoko (man) used in some compound words. Make of that what you will, haha.
March 15th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Overthinking things is pretty much the order of the day here at Alone and Unobserved. And you’re right—I misspelled okonomiyaki in my comment! But you’ll note that I spelled it correctly in my Twitter feed.
March 17th, 2008 at 6:31 am
You did indeed. I love okonomiyaki, though I’m loyal to the Osaka version.
And hey, I just spotted Neil on your blogroll – he’s coming to Melbourne soon and I have a ticket! Now I just need a flight… I saw him do too readings/signings in Sydney a couple of years ago and he’s excellent. In both cases he read us a story from Fragile Things (before it was published). I’m hoping this time he reads part of The Graveyard Book. Either way he’s worth a bit of travelling.
March 17th, 2008 at 7:32 am
I’m jealous. Neil Gaiman is definitely worth a bit of traveling. He came to Salt Lake a few years ago, when I was at BYU, and I still kick myself for not doing whatever it would have taken to get up here and see him. I imagine that Neil is a genuinely nice guy. In a parallel world where I am also a best-selling author, we are friends.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Osaka style okonomiyaki is good, but if you can have the fried-as-you-like-it goodness PLUS a fried egg PLUS fried noodles, why complain?
Hiroshima style is, IMHO, the ultimate in “fried as-you-like-it-ness”.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Objectively, “fried-as-you-like-it-ness” REQUIRES both an egg and a pile of yakisoba. This is demonstrable through repeated empirical experimentation, where the lab=my kitchen+my belly.