Patron Spotlight!
Latest in the popular series “Things Patrons Do and Say that Annoy the Shit out of Me” is an episode that happened last night.
Presumptuous Patron: I have a pronunciation question for you.
Me: In which language?
PP: English. First, though—are you gay?
Me: …yes.
PP: I thought so. I work with a wonderful gay man. He’s happily partnered, though, so you can’t have him. [Cracks up at her own wit.]
Me: Oookay…
PP: When he is doing business, the way he pronounces his words, his preference isn’t obvious. When he talks with other gay men it is, but not at work.
Me: Um…
PP: Sometimes, when you talk, the way you pronounce things, your preference is really obvious.
Me: You know what? I’m not comfortable with this discussion.
PP: Well, do you want your preference to be obvious?
Me: I’m not comfortable with this discussion.
PP: All I’m saying is…
Me: I’m not comfortable with this discussion. [I walk away.]
PP: [Called after me] I didn’t mean to offend or make you angry!
This patron apparently had good intentions. She only meant to be helpful, after all! And of course she couldn’t know my history of repression, the years of trying and failing to pass as straight, to be straight, and how I finally came out of the closet and learned to accept myself for who I am. In short, she doesn’t know me—which is exactly why she shouldn’t have brought up the subject at all.
An hour later, I was watching the wonderful new Gus van Sant movie, MILK, in which Harvey Milk calls for all American gays and lesbians to come out of the closet, to stop hiding who they are, to make their presence known. The film is truly excellent, and timely as well: Milk’s main fight was against Prop 6, a referendum that would have allowed schools to fire gay teachers as well as those who supported gays or gay rights. Prop 6 failed, against all odds. Three weeks ago, we lost the fight against California’s Prop 8, in which a lot of the same rhetoric about “protecting the children” and “recruiting” and “teaching homosexuality in schools” returned to haunt us. Milk’s example is inspiring, and the movie reminds us never to stop fighting.
My name is Sean Tibbitts, and I am here to recruit you!
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November 26th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Oh I just saw a trailer for Milk! I totally want to see it.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 pm
OMG… I have seen Milk twice now. I know… kinda pathetic. But I am the type of person who gets wrapped up in causes quite easily. I worked on the No on 8 campaign, and then after losing, channeled that energy into participating in the protests across LA. So the movie hits close to home. But it does amaze me to see how far we have come as far as public and governmental acceptance. At the same time, it is disturbing that the same notions you mentioned (sexuality as a choice and gay recruitment) have not gone away.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:01 am
I am looking forward to seeing the movie this weekend. It has been in limited release here in the bay area and the lines have been long. Besides the raves about the film itself, I believe that it is so relevant in its core message. Harvey’s spirit is so needed now.
December 13th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Milk is amazing. I hope lots of people across the country see it and internalize Milk’s key message: we must come out, and we must have hope.