Alone and Unobserved

Patron: Can you see if [name] is there?

Me: I’m not familiar with her . . . does she work at the library?

Patron: No, it’s my mother. I’m supposed to meet her and I’m not going to be able to make it. Can you find her and tell her that?

Me: Where were you supposed to meet her?

Patron: At the downtown library.

Me: Do you know where she is in the library, or what floor she’s on?
[Note: The library I work at has five public floors.]

Patron: At the internet.

Me: “The internet”?

Patron: Where you can use the internet.

Me: We have internet access all over the library.

Patron: The computers.

Me: I’m sorry, but we have computers all over the library, so that doesn’t narrow it down.

Patron: Well, can’t you just call for her on the intercom?

Me: Unfortunately, we don’t have a P.A. system, so I really can’t. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Patron: Thanks a lot. (Just before the call disconnects:) Asshole.