Alone and Unobserved

Oh, god. This “running” thing. I do not think my body was designed for it. I’m at the part of the C25k (Couch to 5K) program where I’m supposed to be able to run for a minute and a half without stopping, and it is so, so hard.

Stop laughing. I mean it. I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t run! And if I never said I couldn’t run, then we have obviously never discussed running, because I am not at all shy about telling anyone and everyone that I can’t run.

I still haven’t gone into a running store for a professional shoe fitting like Jasmine suggested, mostly because as badly as my current shoes serve me right now they are at least paid for, and if I got new shoes I would have to shell out more money. Money I don’t have. Because I’m up to my eyeballs in student loan repayments.

But anyway, the running. Or rather, the one-and-a-half minutes of gasping and stumbing and groaning followed by two blissful minutes of walking. And then back to the gasping and stumbling again. Oh, and the groaning. Mustn’t forget the groaning. It is integral to my running style. As is the aching and the complaining about the aching afterwards.

I’m getting better, though (I said stop laughing!). I’ve been doing this “running” thing for a couple weeks now, three times a week, and… it’s slowly dawning on me that someday I might actually be able to run for fun. As insane and unlikely as that sounds right now.