Alone and Unobserved

I’m sick. Just a cold; nothing major. But it’s made me realize something: I don’t get sick very often. Oh, I call into work occasionally with a sinus headache, but my meds always kick in by the next morning and I’m (relatively) good to go. Today is the first time I’ve called into work for the second day in a row in over a year. I… just don’t usually do that. And my god, it sucks. There’s only so much television and internet and warm baths and lounging around lethargically I can take—especially when I’m kind of achy and [...] Continue Reading…

2009 was a pretty hard year for me. I lost a lot of the motivation and drive to create I’d been feeling, and my desire to write and blog dried up. (Check out November—only one post in the entire month, and that was on November 30.) But it was also a great time. I made several comics, started teaching myself to draw, and read my first Vonnegut novel (The Sirens of Titan—still not sure what I thought of it).

Anyway, enough blathering. This is the same meme I did in 2007 and 2008, with a slight variation. Happy New Year!

The [...] Continue Reading…

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
I finished school, forever. Or rather, I finished a degree program without having another one lined up already. Hopefully I’ll give myself at least a few years before going back to school, if I ever decide to.

I decided to learn to draw.

I grew a real beard.

I fell in love with bourbon and learned to mix a yummy whiskey sour.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


Resolutions give me hives. I haven’t made any in years.

3. Did anyone close to you [...] Continue Reading…

Patron: What day of the week is January 27?

Me: It’s a Wednesday.

(a minute later)

Patron: So what day is the 25th?

Me: It would be a Monday.

Patron: Really??

Me: …well, if the 27th is a Wednesday, then yes.

Patron: Oh, because I swear I looked it up on the calendar and the 25th was a Sunday.

Me: Maybe you were looking at last January?

Patron: You know what, that’s probably it.

If you somehow managed to miss the initial announcements and the subsequent angst-filled updates on Twitter, I spent Christmas at my family’s house for the first time in a few years.

What can I say? It was . . . an experience. Mostly a good one, actually! The older of my two younger brothers got married; his wife seems really nice, and they seem like a good fit as a couple. I got to see my new nephew, Gabe, who is a drooling, squirming butterball composed entirely of smiles and fun. My aunt Daisy came up for Christmas, and brought her nephew (my [...] Continue Reading…

My parents married when my mom was 26 and my dad was 29. In Mormon years, especially in 1979, this was definitely Old Maid territory for my mom (whose own mother apparently gave up on her ever getting married when she turned 22 or so) and sinful territory for Dad (a quote often attributed to Brigham Young, the second “prophet” of the Mormon church, states that a young man is a “menace to society” if he remains single after the age of 27). So I always understood that my mom was talking at least somewhat about herself when she [...] Continue Reading…

Patron (on the phone): Maybe you can help me.

Me: Certainly.

Patron: Or maybe there’s somewhere else I should call?

Me: Well, what are you calling about?

Patron: If you don’t know the answer to something, and you need to ask someone, where do you call?

Me: . . . well, generally people call this number and ask me their question.

Patron: What?

Me: WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION.

Patron: Thanks for the number, but can you give it to me again?

Me: I haven’t given you a number, because I don’t know what your question is.

Patron: I’m looking for an Ayurvedic doctor.

Me: Okay. Can you hold while I look one up?

Patron: [...] Continue Reading…

These calls came in back-to-back this evening at the library.

Patron (on the phone): I have a business card here, and I want you to type what’s on it into your computer and see what comes up.

Me: Okay. . . .

Patron: H-T-T-P, double slash . . . [sic]

Me (typing and correcting): “http://”

Patron: W-W-W, period, E-B-A-Y, period, C-O-M.

Me (typing): “www.ebay.com” (aloud) All right. I’m on eBay.

Patron: And what does it show?

Me: . . . It shows the eBay.com website.

Patron: . . . .

Me: It’s a popular place where you can buy and sell items online?

Patron 2: I’m going to give you a web address and I need you to give me some information [...] Continue Reading…

When I was fifteen, my older sister and I went to work for a couple weeks detasseling corn in a series of massive South Dakota seed-corn fields. The work was grueling—we got up long before dawn, received few breaks, and tramped up and down the rows in sweltering midwestern heat, continually slashed by sharp corn leaves that cut our hands to ribbons, finally finishing in the late afternoon—but the worst part was dealing with other workers. They were mostly thirteen- and fourteen-year-old mouthbreathers kids, and a few of them were wretched little monsters who thought nothing was funnier or [...] Continue Reading…

“Me at the contra dance camp, not looking quite so daisy fresh.” by Pizzo Calabro on Flickr.

The weekend-long Wasatch Wiggle contra-dance event ended on Sunday, and three days later I’m finally getting feeling back in my toes. The blisters speckling my feet are turning into odd-shaped lumps of callus. My knees and hips have stopped trying to give way at odd times and they no longer feel uncertain about which way they’re supposed to bend. So much dancing! So much fun.

I wonder how many miles I walked, hopped, skipped or pirouetted over the weekend. And how many calories’ worth [...] Continue Reading…