“I guess it can’t hurt to confess now. They’re gonna kill me for it, but I’d fucking do it again in a second. That motherfucker had it coming.
“I’d never seen one of them on our turf before, they don’t like to get shit on their hands, but there he was, floating along in one of their freaky carts, and there wasn’t nobody around, so I figure, what the hell, right? I had my knife and this metal pipe I carry, in case someone starts some shit, you know? He didn’t see me at first, I kinda stepped out beside him and kicked the cart, tried to tip it over, but it just bounced sideways a little and then he had it turned around and he was looking at me. I didn’t like that, their eyes are creepy as shit, you know, all purple and spaced out, and their faces are thin and they got no hair. So I raise the pipe to knock him out, close his eyes, pay him back for how he’s fucked our kind over, make him stop staring at me. Only then a cold feeling comes over me, and my arm just drops and the pipe hits the ground with a clang. And he says, his voice all fucking creepy-cold like,
” ‘You cannot harm me. Do you see? I have unmanned you, and mastered you. If I wished, you would die right now.’
“I’ll never forget it, the bastard was mocking me! And then he’s all,
” ‘My name is Roeth-ganocg of Ixpahan. Remember this.’
“As soon as he turned the corner, I fell down and threw up everything I’d eaten since, like, ever, but even then I was thinking about how I could make him pay for that, make him pay for everything.
“It wasn’t hard to find out who he was, turns out he’s their ambassador to America, like they don’t rule the whole world anyway, and it all just fell into place, you know? My girlfriend knew someone who knew some lady who used to do the laundry at the embassy, and was mad for being fired, she had a little kid to take care of, so she hooked me up, got me inside the embassy after dark one night, told me how to avoid the security system, how to find his room. I had forgotten how fragile their bones are, like bird bones, snap-crackle-pop. But it turned out that bitch who did laundry didn’t know nothing, ’cause the security system caught it all on camera, and here I am.
“At my trial they asked me who I worked for, said I was a terrorist, plotting against the government. I hear the Ixpahanians have taken the President and his Cabinet into protective custody, that no one hardly sees them anymore. But that’s just fucking crazy. It was just me and him, and he got what was coming to him. And I’d do it again in a second.”
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